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The Other Boleyn Girl is a missing chapter in Henry VIII's sex life, and one of the most ravishing pieces of trash I've seen, writes James Christopher. The Tudor costumes are fabulous. The cast are skin-cream gorgeous. And the bitchy fight between the two Boleyn sisters over who performs better in bed with the hunky King of England is X-rated Mills & Boon. Women will adore the sibling scrap between Natalie Portman's greedy Anne (the calculating tease who marries Henry) and Scarlett Johansson's tender-hearted younger sister, Mary.
But I'm bemused as to why this profoundly unstable monarch has become such a heroic box office draw. A chick-flick romance featuring Henry VIII is surely an insane contradiction in terms considering his axe-happy way with wives and the 80,000 people who went to the gallows during his regal watch.
Justin Chadwick's film has no time for such irritating details. His ugly story unfolds like a glamorous Fleet Street scandal. The randy Henry (Eric Bana), is bored to tears by his saintly Spanish wife, Catherine of Aragon. Bana's King is a brooding loner with huge, furry, Holbein shoulder pads and a George Michael beard. He wants fresh young meat between the bear-rug sheets, and there isn't a noble in his scheming court who wouldn't pimp his own daughter for the royal privilege. David Morrissey is terrific as the wicked, power-hungry uncle who places both the Boleyn sisters under Henry's nose. His sneering voice is one of the few pleasures of the film.
Johansson's shy country girl, Mary, is the King's first conquest despite having recently married a spotty merchant. The actress pouts and blinks like a Dorset milkmaid. Her wildly jealous and sophisticated sister, Anne, eventually knifes her way into the King's favour, but is fatally blamed - in the space of ten minutes - for the Reformation, the war against France and failing to produce a son. Bana turns into a psychopath for the sole purpose of hustling the plot to a sharp conclusion.
Chadwick's melodrama hinges on the poisonous bond between Johansson and Portman as love rivals and sisters. Ultimately we are meant to eat chocolates, admire their trembling lower lips, and choose sides.
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Despite the illustrious costumes and high-profile cast, what really befell this much awaited film was the script. It was the worst I've seen for holding your hand the whole way through the plot, painfully establishing every detail with such unnatural repetition and precision, it felt as if you were watching the opening text before the film began. Aside from this, the cinematography had the unnerving quality of having every shot through a window, behind a wall or candelabra, such that it felt as if you were watching a pirate copy! Perhaps it was supposed to be artistic, or suspenseful, but frankly the most prominent effect was a sense of overwhelming frustration.
Melanie, London,
People need to just shut up. The book is a historical fiction novel that allows the young reader to entertainingly understand the development of the all powerful Church of England. My only problem with this news is that there is no date for when the movie comes out. I came across this novel one year ago and was enraptured by the melodrama; though sex is mentioned it is in an underhand way. I am aware of the incest but that occurs today. I don't see people crucifying Broke Back Mountain or continually belittling former President Clinton. This is up to the parent to censure their chid's sight and if they believe this movie contradicts social values, then you do not have to watch or read it. Do not try to enforce implied powers not mentioned in the domestic constitution.
On the other hand I am interested in seeing the movie; I want to be able to compare the novel to theatre. Hopefully, they keep both in relation to the other, the book is fine the way it is written.
Tykwa, Pueblo West, Colorado, United States
The problem with this movie lies in the vapid and historically inaccurate romance novel by Phillipa Gregory. To use the term Chick-Flick just adds salt to the wound. There are so many wonderful historical novels and even straight histories, written and celebrating women, why on earth waste the time and money on this one? Barbara Tuchman and Mary Renault come to mind as more worthy authors. To think this is really the same director that helped form the brilliant rendition of Bleak House, broadcast by the BBC in 2005 just adds credence to this theory. In that rewrite of an already renowned classic, Justin Chadwick had a decent screenwriter. Gillian Anderson,who plays the main character in Bleak House, was raised on both sides of the Atlantic has a clue about mastering the English persona she was to play.
Both Natalie Portman and Scarlett Johansson blubber their way through a story that somehow comes entirely down to sisterly rivalry. Vapid as a historical Star magazine. Nice Costumes....
Jenna, Las Cruces , New Mexico
Ok, Heather, Henry VII was actually considered to be very goodlooking when he first came to the throne.
I loved the Philippa Gregory book, ok so it wasn't historically accurate but it is a damn good read! This film did not do it justice at all!! I loved the costumes, I think Natalie Portman was great as Anne. Scarlett Johannson sucked, she did her usual gawping, pouty lips, vacant thing that she does in every film, but it kind of suited the part. But this film raced through the plot, and didn't make sense at all. It was more like watching an extended trailor! You didn't even get a mention that Mary Boleyn's first husband died, which was kind of intregal to the plot. It's a shame, a great cast, great costumes and they could have really done a great film.
Ella, London,
I am an avid reader of tudor history (and tudor historical fiction) and am a big fan of Philippa Gregory's novels. Frankly I have never been disappointed by any interpretation of the story of Henry VIII purely because so much of it is shrouded in mystery and I enjoy seeing how others interpret the facts as well as how they choose to percieve the myths. I thought the film was sumptious viewing and all three leads acquitted themselves very well, particularly Natalie Portman's coquettish take on Anne. I agree with Laura from London's comments that the TV version starring Natascha Macelhone had a darkness and grittiness that was very believable for the time but this is Hollywood and aren't we looking for escapism in the world of the beautiful people? I particularly enjoyed Kristin Scott Thomas' turn as the Boleyn mother who is portrayed as the only intelligent person with the wary concern of foresight. Aside from a lacking of back story for the pivotal role of George this was great !
Ruth, Brighton, UK
If you want to see a truly fantastic version of the Other Boleyn Girl see the BBC TV version starring Jodhi May, Natascha Macelhone and Jared Harris. It's was brilliant and got rave reveiws. I'm sure it won awards and if it didn't it should have. It's very dark and gritty compared to this choc box version and the dialogue was devised by improvisation, so has a reality which is fresh and utterly compelling, v rare in costume drama.
I personally liked the new version, it was fun to watch, but once Anne got the king it felt too fast and truncated. The scene when Anne cries after giving birth I found very moving.
Laura, London, England
Heather - I imagine nationality has little to do with casting a movie. The two leads in the American Civil War drama "Cold Mountain" were an Austrailian and Englishman.
Pamela, Tulsa,
I walked out of this film after about an hour, stone bored out of my skull. That was a disappointment because I so much wanted to love it -- but I realized an hour into excruciating boredom that there was still a royal divorce/new religion-to-be not yet formed/royal marriage/string of miscarriages and one daughter/national backlash against the Queen/accusations of witchcraft and trial/beheading to cover.
Both Portman and Johansson shine for brief moments, but otherwise phoned in their performance. They are young Americans with no deep current of understanding about living in a monarchy and what that might have meant in the time of the Tudors; their performances reflect that.
Mary Malloy, Ross, California US
Heather - Eric Bana is *Australian*. And a brilliant actor! Yeah, Henry VIII was boot ugly, but hello!! It's a dramatisation for entertainment.
Marie, Sydney,
Well I have seen every movie made and read alot of books about the man and his wives. I will be going to see this one this weekend. I dont think most people going will care what he did while king only Who and How Many. My pet peev is that the makers always get these fantastic looking men to play him and he was not much of a looker if you ask me! His life makes a good read because once he left Cathrine he moved very fast through a lot of women and change the church. It also peevs me that they get Americans to play these parts and I a Yank myself. There are great actors here who could do much better. I look forward to seeing it.
Heather Thomas, York , UK