Asia is a part of the world where, despite the humidity and monsoons, regional jealousies and ancient grudges are all kept tinder-dry: a sequined pop balladeer could all too easily provide a deadly spark.

The transparent toadying of the Eurovision scoring system is likely to be pounced upon by governments across Asia. Friends are in line to be richly remunerated and enemies laid low by the simple utterance of “nul points” – the international language of contempt.

The broad diplomatic fault-lines of the Asiavision votes tally are painfully obvious. North Korea can be depended upon to be stingy when scoring its neighbour to the south, in the same way that the Taiwanese entry will probably get a thumbs-down from the Beijing panel. Burma, on the other hand, may be generous with the entry from Pyongyang, even if it meant pretending to like songs about the glories of the Dear Leader and the joy of drowning in capitalist blood.

There will be more subtle signals – decipherable only by those close to the top echelons of power and diplomacy. Wasn’t it China that delivered rice to the Philippines when Vietnam stopped its exports? Did you support us at the UN when fishing rights were being negotiated? How badly does Singapore need fresh water from Malaysia?

A dizzying crossfire of “dix points” and “nul points” – with only scant attention to the act being judged – would hide the answers to these questions and the diplomatic inferno beneath them.

And, because collective memories of Japanese wartime atrocities are much longer than Japan’s, more or less everyone would make Tokyo its whipping-boy. Forget, for a moment, the fact that Japanese pop sells staggeringly well across Asia. The Japanese entry could be hammered by 15 scores of “nul points”, or “rei ten”, as they had better get used to hearing.

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