Gary Slapper
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The identity of an alleged bank robber in a recent German case depends on the reliability of testimony about the size of her bottom. So a variant on the common question will soon be heard in court: “Does my bottom look big in this bank queue?”
A bank in Norf in western Germany was robbed at gunpoint and the robber had escaped with €15,000. The main clue police had to work on was that witnesses had reported the suspect was a woman with “a very large backside” and “powerful thighs”.
Some weeks later, one of those witnesses was standing in a queue in the same bank when he noticed what he thought was the same backside. He said he was sure because he would “never forget anything that big”.
The man called the police and the suspect, Sandra Meiser, 26, was arrested and found to be in possession of a ski mask and a handgun. She was suspected of being about to rob the same bank again. She was charged with firearms offences and attempted robbery.
The size of a bottom was once relevant to the outcome of an English case but the court was not very enthusiastic about the prospect of meticulously evaluating the evidence.
In 1983, the television critic Nina Myskow slated the performance of the actress Charlotte Cornwell in a series called “No Excuses”. The review had said, among other things, “her bum is too big”. The actress sued.
Counsel for the critic suggested that the courts were “not the place to deal with someone’s sense of grievance that another person has been rude in print about their bottom”, but the court disagreed. The case ploughed on and after a retrial Ms Cornwell eventually won £11,500 damages.
In the German case, the mistake allegedly made by Ms Meiser is that while being easily identifiable she tried to rob the same bank twice. Bank robbers, however, have made worse mistakes than that.
In 1975, a Scottish court heard that three men intent on robbery had charged into the Royal Bank of Scotland at Rothesay and got stuck in the revolving doors. They had to be helped free by the staff, after which they sheepishly left the building. Moments later they rushed back in, declared they were robbing the bank, and demanded £5,000 cash but got no reaction other than laughter from the head cashier.
One of the robbers then jumped over the counter in a rage but crashed to the floor clutching his ankle. Seeing that, the other two tried to make their getaway but, once again, were trapped in the revolving doors.
Professor Gary Slapper is Director of the Centre for Law at the Open University

Professor Gary Slapper is the Director of the Centre for Law at the Open University. He writes a weekly column for Times Online, The Law Explored, elucidating the complexities of British law
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