Jeremy Clarkson
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Any slim hope we might have had of a Pink Floyd reunion tour was dashed recently by the death of the keyboard player Rick Wright. Oh, sure, the remaining members could still settle their differences, find another keyboard player and get back on the road but, and here’s the thing, would I go? Would I be watching Pink Floyd? Or nothing more than a facsimile of the outfit that provided a soundtrack to my life thus far?
We see much the same thing today with Queen. Or “the Queen”, as my dad liked to call them. They’re out there now, strumming and banging their way through all the old favourites. They even have Paul Rodgers on vocals – and Paul, in my opinion, is the greatest rock singer of them all. But is it Queen without Freddie Mercury?
As you may know, I am a very big Who enthusiast. I saw them first in 1975 at the Bingley Hall in Stafford, and it was the start of something wonderful. But then Keith Moon shot into the next life through a puddle of vomit, and every time I’ve seen them since – it’s 13 and counting – I’ve always felt that, despite the best efforts of Kenney Jones and Zak Starkey, I’m not really seeing the band that gave us Who’s Next. And now, with Entwistle gone, the problem will be even bigger.
Over the years, we have seen many bands hit by the untimely death of a member. The Pretenders were particularly unlucky. They’d been going only four years when James Honeyman-Scott died after a drug overdose. Then, less than a year later, the original bassist was dead as well. Meanwhile, being in the New York Dolls was more dangerous than taking part in the all-comers’-East-African-sex-without-a-condom competition. Recent plans for a second comeback tour were almost aborted when one of only three remaining members decided to up sticks and drop dead.
Today, I’m told, Thin Lizzy continue to tour. Great. Until I tell you the band is actually made up of one bloke who played rhythm guitar on Whiskey in the Jar and “some other blokes”. That’s not really Thin Lizzy, is it?
And it’s the same story, apparently, with the Four Tops, who really ought to be called A Top and Some Interlopers.
But we’d better get used to this sort of thing. At the moment, The Daily Telegraph’s obituary pages are full of second world war heroes who charged into enemy lines armed with nothing but a pearl-handled butter knife.
Soon, those guys will all be gone and, instead, we’ll be reading about brave Joe Walsh, who became so fed up with fellow band members knowing he was about to break into their hotel room with a chainsaw that he bought a silent electric version. This way, they would still be in bed, asleep, when he came through the wall.
In other words, the few rock stars who survived the heroin and cocaine will soon succumb to the misery of old age. And then what?
Trying to replace them is like trying to replace the foot from a beautiful old grandfather clock. Yes, you could have a craftsman knock up a new one, and it would undoubtedly do a splendid job of keeping the timepiece upright. But every time you looked at it, you’d know all was not right with the world. And, anyway, what’s the point, when the clock face, the pendulum and the weights are about to give up the ghost as well? So what’s to be done?
My wife insists that there is plenty of fresh talent coming along to replace the dinosaurs. She is wrong. The Franz Flighters, Car-sick Steve and the Frascatis are derivative and hopeless and I do not wish to listen to any of the noises they make.
I certainly wouldn’t pay even so much as one penny to see the Red Hot Chili Peppers, who, so far as I’m concerned, could not make a worse sound if they spent an hour attacking giant sheets of polystyrene with a flock of electrocuted cats. I hate them.
I want to see Genesis and Yes and Pink Floyd. I want to see Stevie Winwood and Eric and Supertramp and Bad Company. But I have the most horrible feeling that I’ve already seen them all for the last time.
There is, however, a solution. At the moment, tribute bands have a fairly poor reputation. But I’m not sure why.
When elderly people go to see Rachmaninov’s Third, no one is ever disappointed to find that it isn’t actually the man himself on the ivories. Indeed, many derive a great deal of pleasure in hearing how other musicians interpret the great man’s work.
In fact, when you stop and think about it, the London Symphony Orchestra is a tribute band. It simply turns up and plays music written by someone else.
So why can’t we encourage this sort of thing among today’s youngsters who wish to forge a career in the world of rock’n’roll? Instead of asking them to write their own material, which will be rubbish, we should ask them to interpret work by the masters: Camel, Gong and so on.
At present, tribute bands try to reproduce exactly what their heroes did. Some are astonishingly good. I once saw a Floyd tribute band in Alaska who were semitone-perfect.
But why can’t they experiment? Try to improve on the original? As we saw when Gary Jules rejigged the Tears for Fears song Mad World, a modern twist can be extremely enjoyable and successful.
We see this with every performance of the Royal Shakespeare Company. We see it with every orchestra. And soon we will see it with rock music too.
It’s not the real thing. But it’s the next best thing. And that’ll have to do.

Jeremy Clarkson's career as car reviewer and BBC Top Gear presenter has made motoring into show business, but he has earned himself the description of an "equal opportunities loudmouth" for his opinionated commentary on all aspects of life, appearing weekly in The Sunday Times.
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Totally agree
Hardly any thought goes into todays rock music. I mean could you see any band coming close to writing stuff on par with Stairway or Floyd's Money?
Jonno, Liverpool, UK
Jeremy, I agree with most of what you said, however from the list of modern bands you include in your article you have clearly been listening to the wrong acts! For prog try Porcupine Tree or if you want a semi-tribute band doing things their own way pick up a live album by Gov't Mule.
Damon , Birmingham, UK
As a music educator, I couldn't agree more with Jeremy. Musicians then had to work a bit harder than they do now. A bit of copy and paste and the job is done.
I have a lot of respect for the bands that cut it live (we are one of them - www.thecoolbeans.co.uk) even playing covers. See you at MPH!
nick lindsay, Aylesbury, UK
if you're looking for a rock and roll covers band
try www.asparausnow.com
with an average age of 21, our combined ages are STILL younger then BB King :P
Tom Lyon, Liverpool, England
I wonder why Jeremy didn't write about The Cars.
Victor Kennedy, Maribor, Slovenia
great piece, jeremy, and i agree wholeheartedly, but homer simpson sadi it first and more succinctly. can you handle that?
Ian, Brisbane,
I love Leigh Vernier's comment - spot on. And I identify with JC's piece as well - to an extent.
Steve M, Midlands, England
Great music survives the passage of time.
Whereas rap emanates from the back passage.
Leigh Vernier, Riyadh, Saudi Arabia
I think that you just have to look deeper and further to get to the good stuff these days. Maybe it's not always original, but some of it is very good...just stay away from mainstream radio. It plays nothing that is of any use whatsoever.
Graeme, Toronto, Canada
True, great music survives the passage of time (whether 'covered' live or re-recorded, although some originals are hard to be improved upon). But this discussion is mostly about the soundtrack of one's youth. Jeremy's parents probably felt the same about the Who etc. as he feels about today's bands.
Esther Oberbeck, London,
Dear Ash from Canberra: Top Gear Australia may prove the point by being bloody awful. They try to do it word for word and are embarrassing to watch. If they were left to do it their way it might have been OK.
Thanks Jeremy.
Rod, Perth, Australia
I agree with you jeremy, so why do you let the BBC play that awful cover version of Jessica?
Play the original version by the best US band ever. The Allman Brothers Band!
al stuart, london, england
Blimey and I thought I was the only one who shouts 'Kings new clothes' when all the young bands come on Jools... Punk was the end of proper new rock music and those chilly pepper bods are plain awful. The duo on Jonny Woss last Friday must have been taking the Mick...
Epi, Reigate, England
Never have truer words been spoken.
I'm not old enough to have seen all the rock 'n' roll greats (Who, Led Zep, Queen etc) in their prime, but I'm grateful to have been introduced to the music.
There are no songs around now which even come close to eg My Wife, or Stairway to Heaven. It's a shame.
Rebecca, Leeds, UK
Hey! You should try Karaoke...all the old songs are out there! Sometimes abysmal, sometimes brilliant, but never boring! It takes real guts to get up there and be bad!
Susan Lythgoe, Lancashire, UK
Clarkson has unwittingly hit upon the difference between musical genres. People go to LISTEN to Rachmaninov but go to SEE Pink Floyd. If the music is truly great it will survive long after the original band is dead. Perhaps in a hundred years people will sit in raptures to Stairway to Heaven, maybe!
Richard, Fareham, Hants
Jeremy,you have good taste!
Uncle Pete Townshend has just to play one chord and then ,BLANG!you know that all "indie" stuff just cant stand up to any Who songs....
Lionel, Paris,
That's what happens when you listen to "Dad Rock".
Try something new Jeremy, you might like it. I've got a spare ticket for The Killers, why don't you come along?
Sam, Sheffield,
I don't think Muse were better than Pink Floyd, but they are certainly as good as.
James J, London, UK
Jeremy is right. There's nothing that is even in the same league, let alone championship, that can compare with Floyd, Straits, Genesis et al.
I recently watched in astonishment, 'Later with Jools Holland's line of 'guitar greats'. Apart from Clapton and one or two others, the rest were rubbish
David Garfield, London, UK
im 22 and all modern music is awful,its copy and paste.
long live the stones
Chris, Rochdale, UK
There's nothing more pointless in life than trying to argue that one song or band is better than another.
Phil Hughes, Porto-Cristo, Mallorca, Spain
Matt, are you high? Doves, Muse and Elbow better than Pink Floyd?! Some people have absolutely no taste whatsoever, but that's going a bit far.
For modern music Jeremy, try Pelican or Red Sparowes. Sweeping soundscapes, much like Floyd's, building up to a crescendo. Good stuff, I assure you.
DanX, Cardiff, Wales
Modern music is not crap! There is a lot more around today which is the problem, and it is only crap that seems to make it onto the radio because that is what the majority like to listen to. JC try Doves - some cities, Muse and anything by Elbow, all easily as good as Floyd if not better?
Matt, Leeds, UK
Many, if not most, of the new bands don't write anything original anyway. There's this Polish band, whose vocalist seems to copy voice and style of other known vocalists... Then there's another one, whose song sounds like two songs by The Police combined together. They're all just bad copies anyway.
L.S., Gdynia, Poland
I agree re the great volumes of derivative indie guitar nonsense out there. However, searching around will through up reasons to love newly discovered bands. Don't give up!
Diana, london,
Jeremy, me old cock sparrer! Could I introduce you to the Yorkshire broom? It has had sixteen new heads and seventeen new handles.
Steve Buckel, Braunau-am-Inn, Austria
try listening to anberlin
John Williams, brownwood, tx, United States
I totally agree. If a band loses it's fromtman it isn't the same band anymore. That is why I am an Ozzy fan rather than a Black Sabbath fan, but they are cool too. All the bands I listened to when I was growing up are still going and still incredible, Ozzy, ACDC, Motorhead, Alice Cooper, etc. Great!
Sarah Williamson, Carrickfergus, County Antrim, Northern Ireland
All Modern music is crap!
Stick with the classics, Mr Clarkson, you have impecable taste in music.
I agree, when I band loses a memeber it isn't the same anymore, esp if it is the main person, the vocalist. Basically the vocalist is the band. Motorhead wouldn't be Motorhead without Lemmy.
Sarah, County Antrim, Ulster
Dare I ask, does this make Oz Top Gear the 'tribute band' of UK Top Gear?
ash, Canberra, Australia
I agree, although I hope this approach does not stray into the two types of music I abhor - Country AND Western.
Mike Wilson, Austin, Texas, USA
http://www.macfloyd.co.uk/home.html
A plug for a tribute band that my wee pal Sam plays with. She has also played for the Dalai Lama, so who says you can't combine tribute with quality?
George, Glasgow, UK
I like that Grant guys comment about Muse a combo of queen and yes....wow i really would like to hear that, Muse it isn't, sorry buddy Simon isright and Jeremy Radiohead are the best
richard bowden, Davao City, p
Coglans Quo are good, post margatreta time! That guy that do's Roy Orbison is pretty damm close and T- rextasy is the best of all tribute bands 'Who' were fine with Zak but only 1/2 as good without the mighty 'Ent' who needs a Pink Floyd reunion when Lord Gilmore is doing fine in Gdansk thank you?
Dave Farmer, Broxbourne, England
Mr Clarkson, once again a superb start to my Sunday!
Being only 18, I actually agree with your outlook on modern music.
Rock is now a mere shadow compared to what it used to be - and its a shame to think that there will never be anything such as Pink Floyd, Led Zepplin and the like ever again!
Kirsten H, Glasgow, UK
Jeremy, when you're right, you're right. Except maybe for the Chilli Peppers.
John Chapman, Durham, Durham
I saw the Quo in '78 and am seeing them again next month, but I'm sure it's not gonna be the same without Alan Lancaster (great british name!) on bass and John Coughlan on drums :-(
chris, st emo,
There is an official tribute band of Pink Floyd coming from Australia I guess. I saw them on youtube.They are really great!
Pity for Richard. I can't stop listening to wet dream
Piotr, Gdynia,
A great article, it made me laugh out aloud much to the concern of the other people in the Internet cafe.
While the world collapses you concentrate on the real issues.
Thank God
clive, Kythira, Greece
I have to disagree about The Who though. I'm too young(18) to have seen The Classic lineup but I saw them last year in Dublin and it was by a long way the best concert I have ever been to, even though it was just Pete and Roger. And the Red Hot Chilli Peppers aren't that bad are they?
Owen, Dublin,
Top article Jezza. I once saw a Queen tribute band in Pembroke and they were great....until the lead singer feel off the modest stage (it collaped underneath him). He elbowed some gyrating fan on the way down and the mother of all fights ensued. "Freddie" got his head kicked in and the concert ended
john, newcastle,
I am glad it is not just me. I have always felt I am a dinosaur for not embracing current "rock" bands. Yes, the era of Floyd, Led Zep et al certainly was a golden age. Jeremy is right though, there are some cracking tribute bands around, one I would recommend is the The Counterfeit Stones. Great.
Steve, Derby, UK
It could be worse, mate. I live in Thailand, where most of the bands don't speak a word of English. They compensate by making noises that they think sound like the original lyrics. I'm so, so tired of listening to Pink Floyd's "anuffer plick in de war". ;-)
Steve, Pattaya, Thailand
Does Jeremy build his own cars?
Pete , Hull, UK
Speak as a yoof to whom all the Franzes and Peppers are directed, yes Jeremy you are right. For the love of Music, bring back Supertramp.
Tim, Edinburgh,
Tens of millions of people think the Red Hot Chili Peppers are brilliant, Jeremy thinks they are rubbish, mmm, let's think about that for a minute. Music has to move on Jeremy, and so do you!
Dan, Bromley, UK
Thanks again Jeremy for another weekly dose of wit and wisdom. Please don't die any time soon! I've seen some great tribute bands including Australian Pink Floyd who were "semitone perfect". I was never lucky enough to see Queen, The Who or The Floyd live in concert so that's all I can do :-(
Doug Short, Edinburgh, UK
Highlight of my fiftieth year musically will be the release of AC/DCs new album on the 20th october,still intact after 28 years and still banging out great rock n roll.
R.Stratford, London, U.K
Never heard of any of them.
john problem, Hackney Wick, UK
Great piece, Jeremy; just like every Sunday. Oh, and don't forget that the Boss is still around in pretty good shape. As for the young ones, my guess is that only Coldplay may be ranked among the greatests.
Javier, Pamplona, Spain
Spot on. Having seen a number of tribute bands over the years, some have little resemblance to the original artists and will remain on the wedding circuit, but there are some real gems out there. Slyde are very close in sound and look to the original Slade and other Glam legends. "Take Me Bak Ome"
Mark, Granada, Spain
Deep Purple have been a slick, professional Deep Purple tribute band since Ritchie was replaced by guitar-for-hire Steve Morse. There are no sparks without friction.
Bill Peter, Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia
Fascinating article Mr Clarkson. Such a pleasure to read on a Sunday morning.
Geoff, Birmingham, UK
Thank God I am not the only one to think the Red Hot Chilli Peppers are crap, thought I was going crazy. Can't wait to show my daughter. British rock is still being held up by the icons of the 60's, 70's, 80's. Mark Knopfler for one is still writing and producing excellent material.
Paul, Brisbane, Australia
The interesting thing is that deaths of band members doesn't have to ruin a band. There's an Australian band called The Whitlams who have only one of the founding members left, and are still producing great albums. And they didn't become famous until they were down to two of the founders.
Catherine, Leonay, Australia
The Rolling Stones, the Beatles and most other 60's bands started out doing covers of American R&B classics. Did not do them any harm, bring back raw energy and musicianship.
Colin Hailey, Tenterfield, Australia
Muse are Rubbish Simon, they are the biggest take-offs of a sound like Queen crossed with Yes that make them average at best.
Grant, Hobart, Australia
Jeremy,
I don't think there are less good bands today than there were, I think its how you listen to them. Where you once listened to bands with an open mind, like-minded friends and possibly out of you mind on something, you now listen with a closed mind, alone in the car and worst of all, sober
Ken, Brisbane, Australia
Aw, Jezza, there are some excellent bands out there today! But true, there are some interesting renditions of 'classic' pop. My favourite cover version is Eva Cassidy's version of 'Fields of Gold', and she died of cancer before Wogan started championing her stuff! Death makes you cool!
Ford_Gal, Aberdeen, SCOTLAND
Jeremy, you should really listen out for Muse. They are one of the most original bands today, sounding like nothing else, and with one of the best covers of Nina Simone's 'Feeling Good' they tick all the right boxes for you.
Simon, London, England