When I was a schoolboy in Africa we would play word games aimed to trick other boys into saying something self-incriminating. You might invite your intended victim to repeat the word “ink” followed by the word “iced”, faster and faster until he realised (to mocking howls) that he was saying “I stink, I stink, I stink”. A more savage variant involved requesting an Afrikaner to say “choose my lace” in Afrikaans – with a result too appalling to print.
A means of playing such games at the Commons dispatch box has still to be devised; but, with ingenuity, someone may yet manage to persuade the Prime Minister to repeat the words “up”, “eyes” and “crude”, in that order, as fast as he can. The sound of Gordon Brown apparently declaring “I screwed up! I screwed up!” would bring screams of delight and a ripple of national pleasure.
For a cruel sport is emerging at Commons questions and in media interviews. It’s called Making Brown Say It. The sport is sadistic because the things people want to make the Prime Minister say are not in themselves new or interesting. They are things known to all but which for some baffling reason Gordon Brown himself finds it extraordinarily difficult to say. Making him say them becomes the challenge; watching him wriggle the reward.
It all started last October when, conscious that he lacked a personal mandate and that the polls suggested he could win a snap general election, Mr Brown made plans – then shelved them when opportunistic Tory promises undermined his confidence of victory. There is embarrassment but no disgrace in conceding that you don’t call an election when your opponents may steal the victory, and few sentient Labour MPs saw much problem in admitting as much.
But would the Prime Minister? Somehow he just couldn’t. Sniffing blood, journalists then invited him to deny, “hand on heart”, that falling poll ratings had influenced his decision. Thus cornered, he did deny it. David Cameron skewered him with the same question; and again he was unwilling to acknowledge reality. This made him look idiotic.
Since then the list of mistakes and misfortunes that Mr Brown won’t acknowledge has grown too tedious to detail. Northern Rock, a range of tax twists and U-turns, the recent notorious abolition of the 10p tax rate (where Brown still fails to use the word “I” when acknowledging mistakes) . . . the instances are various. But they have one feature in common. Study his phraseology as a psychotherapist rather than a student of policy might, and this leaps out at you. What Brown really, really, won’t say is that he has been pressured by anyone else into doing anything he did not want to do in the first place; or that on any central question it is his own judgment that has been wrong.
Pressed, he will allow that circumstances have changed and decisions varied or revisited in light of the new situation. Pressed further he will admit that mistakes “were made” or that “we” made mistakes. Pressed even harder he will even use the “I” word and admit to failures of diplomacy, tact, consultation or explanation. But what he cannot allow is either that he has been pushed around, or that a big decision was wrong at the time he took it.
This twin refusal, like the two arms of a nutcracker, puts a man under intolerable pressure. If you can admit you’re wrong, then you don’t need to admit to being pushed by others, but only by your own intelligence, to alter course. If you can admit to being pushed by others you don’t need to admit you were ever wrong: you’ve altered course for collegiate reasons, against your best judgment. But if you are to insist both that your first decision was right, and that your second thoughts do not arise from arm-twisting, you get into an awful tangle when challenged to explain your change of mind.
It was in just such a tangle that Gordon Brown faced John Humphrys on the
Today programme and Adam Boulton on
Sky News on Thursday. He will have known he would face questions about Alistair Darling’s Budget U-turn, raising the tax threshold to compensate for pain inflicted by abolishing the 10p rate.
How would he reply? By saying he should never have invented the 10p rate? Or never have abolished it? Or would he say that this week’s policy shift would not have been his preference, but it was affordable, and he was therefore bowing to parliamentary anxiety and national concern?
To my incredulity, he told his interviewers that the £2.7 billion tax cut, financed by borrowing, was a response to the world economic downturn: a measure to stimulate domestic growth by putting extra money in people’s pockets. Brown said he wanted to ease the financial squeeze being faced by hard-working families. Asked why the need for this had only been discovered since the Budget, he could give no answer. It was pitiable.
It was also scary. I’ll tell you what scares me, and scares (I believe) a wider public who may not always be consciously aware why. It’s not the thought that the Prime Minister may be lying. It’s a more disturbing thought: that he may not. That under the terrible internal pressure created in his own head by a refusal to accept either that his will may be thwarted or his judgment questioned, the PM is having to warp the external world to make it fit.
Could it be that it is to himself, and not to us, that Mr Brown is unable to acknowledge reality? That he really doesn’t now think he did change his mind about that snap election for fear of losing it? That the main reason for a Budget U-turn was a need he suddenly saw for economic stimulus? That Wendy Alexander was not calling for an earlier referendum on Scottish independence? That the May local and mayoral elections were not a tremendous rebuke to his administration?
We expect politicians to lie. We don’t like it but we understand it. Caught between the world as it is and the world politicians keep promising to make for us, we do see what drives them to misrepresent the world, rewrite the promise, or both.
Conversation between the public and our politicians is eased by the half-intended, half-acknowledged wink. And if in their kiss-and-tell diaries politicians later paint a picture of private sniggers and sneaky lies, it’s almost reassuring. At least it suggests that if the covers come off we’d all agree on what we see. When a man blushes, something is shared.
But a cold, angry repudiation of the evidence itself, a look that suggests a different prism, a different picture; a strange, knotted, jaw-clenching, fact-defying, interview-wrecking rejection of what the rest of us see plain as daylight . . . this disturbs more deeply than everyday mendacity ever can. Where could a national conversation with such a man begin?
Whether Broon is delusional or just a liar is academic. The real issue is that zaNu Labour has done such massive damage to this country that it's the duty of everyone, regardless of their previous political alliegance, to join together and vote them out before it becomes irreversible. Lead on Crewe!
Phil, Cheltenham, UK
Fantastic Mathew. Whatever they're paying you, it's not enough. But I have a challenge even your great powers of insight and prose surely cannot explain: why are our leaders giving up our powers as an independent nation to the EU while reneging on their promise of a public vote?
John, Guildford, UK
He can say what he wants, as 75% of the country don't believe a word he or his acolytes spout - it's really quite irrelevant.
But I'll tell you what scares me - he really doesn't have a clue on economics! And he's run the country's finances for the last 11 years!
Rob, Isle of Wight,
Even the thought of being subjected to the smugness of Osborne in power,the "self acclaimed" statesman of wee William knowitall Haige,the Bullindon mentality of Cameron is enough to make any rational person try to prevent such an occurence ever actually happening...........its wake up time
Eric, Southwick, England
No thanks as I don't want to see 4 million on the dole or 15% base rates.
A Thomas, Lanchester,
Bit late now Mr Thomas - coming to a town near you - soon!
Rob, Isle of Wight,
I'm glad Eric in Southwick is posting - without his (multiple) comments to balance out the rest, one might even begin to think that the vast, vast majority of people in the country don't really think our PM is particularly great. It would be one way traffic. Anyone else care to stand up for Gordy?
MisterDavid, Edinburgh, Scotland
Every sad year under his chancellorship the equivalent of a capacity filled Millennium Stadium and a small town's worth of unproductive workers was swallowed up like krill by Gordon Brown's Public Sector leviathan whilst he was instrumental in allowing the manufacturing sector to atrophy. Rational?
Pauline, Cardiff, Wales
"Where could a RATIONAL conversation with such a man begin?"
elizabeth schumann, Paris, France
to A. Thomas of Lanchester
If labour is so good tell me how many labour councillors and mp's in the south of england? I come from the north of England and I can endorse John of Durhams comment, that is exactly how most people in this neck of the woods vote.
regards
philip riley, billingham, england
He seems to have trouble with the word England, wonder why?"
He also has much trouble using the following words:-
Scotland
Scottish govt
Alex Salmond
SNP
Referendum
Holyrood
Scottish Independence
You are not., therefore, the ONLY tribe who have problems with this useles Scottish renegade, matey!
Tam d, Annan,
I'll give him until August when he'll have to resign due to health reasons (persuaded by his wife). He just cannot deal with the pressure the job brings and I don't think he can last much longer. Even the Yes men (and women) in the cabinet know it too but can't face putting him out of his misery.
Paul, West Midlands,
He seems to have trouble with the word England, wonder why ?
Man in a Shed, Woking, Surrey
I think the real reason for the diatribe against Brown is that the whingers house prices are falling.having seen their house price go up ten , fifteen per cent a year ,now they are feeling the draft
it was obvious .even to a cretin that house price inflation was unsustainable.Whingers Bon Voyage.
P.Campbell, Southampton, England
John in Durham. If Labour is so bad tell me how many Tory councillors and MP's do you see in the Northern cities. You may have a short memory of the Tories but I don't. By the way my dad tended to vote Fianna Fail.
To Mr Phillips, it seems that the sheep are the ones jumping on the Tory bandwagon!
A Thomas, Lanchester,
How refreshing it is to read this article and the comments that follow. This is clearly a moment of collective realisation that will reinforce our backbone and stand us well in the future.
I just hope that Cameron can seize the opportunity properly. Let us pray for real intelligence from him.
Marek, London,
Since he is clearly suffering some form of mental disorder and hurting people (still blowing up Iraqi's and Afghan's whilst pushing his us into penury) presumably he can be detained under s.136 of the Mental Health Act?
Tony, London,
It MIGHT "worry"you regarding how the people of "Crewe" will vote...............if they do vote for Labour it will be the begining of the end of the extensive deceit taking place by power seeking opportunists and an expression of good reasoning
Eric, Southwick , England
If the people of Crewe are wise enough to percieve the deceit and distortion taking place by the tory propoganda machine then it will be the beginning of the end of the major hoodwinking being spouted over the last year....only a "worry" for those wishing to continue the deceit
Eric, Southwick , England
Many years ago I attended a dinner in Scotland where George B.was 3rd speaker.I marked him down as either courageous or just not facing up to reality.For years I inclined to the former view but after years of him trying trying to defend the indefencible I realise it was the latter.
Bob Greenaway, Tamarin, Mauritius
Isn't one of the main thrusts of the Euro treaty that decisionmaking for Europe passes constitutionally to the European Parliament - a 100% elected body - versus the current semi-elected, cumbersome, bureaucratic tripartite system? If so, isn't anyone signing up to it like a Turkey voting for Xmas?
Nick, London, UK
Alan, Honiton. No, I'm suggesting that losing the Falklands in the first place was a major and avoidable error. Carrington et al did resign over this - probably the most recent ministers to admit error (Thatcher's according to the evidence!). All PMs have made mistakes. They never admit it
J B, York,
Gordon Brown claims to have a moral compass a global moral vision, but how can he claim to be moral when he is the very person that has ushered in an immoral tax system. Taxing the poor while offering tax breaks to the rich is not in anyway moral.
Malcolm , Dundee,
I do not expect Politicians to LIE. Thats the problem you and the other jounalists think its ok, infact quite normal. In a normal life say at a pub, if someone lied to a group of people consistantly they would stop excepting him in the group. The British people should reject lieing politicians.
dave reardon, nuneaton,
And to think that these "gurus" of wisdom on Gordon Brown have the likes of Cameron,Osborne,Haige and Letwin as alternatives.............the very thought is comical if not so serious for our country,,,,,,,Keep up your good work Gordon
Eric, Southwick , England
What worries me the most is that the people of Crewe will vote Nu Labour again, this will confirm to bumbler Brown that all is well, and now, you can all have an even larger dose of the same.
Please Crewe send Brown the right message - GET OUT NOW!
George, Hempstead, kent
Matthew, I think you're looking for deep reasons to explain Brown's behaviour. But Brown is simply a deceitful meddliomaniac one man government who has no idea what grass roots people want. As the man with the money for 10 years, we've had to live his vision. No more.
Ivan Kingsley Smith, Rochester, uk
To A Thomas "If you don't like this country then please leave. If all the whingers and whiners were to leave, the country would be a better place".
I disagree; a country full of sheep who are incapable of acknowledging government failures would be a terrible place, void of scrutiny.
Tom Phillips, Liverpool, UK
Living in a cosy taxpayer-funded world, surrounded by sycophants telling them what they want to hear, it's not surprising many politicians are totally clueless and deluded about reality. We really do need to find ways to cull career politicians in favour of people with real work & life experience.
Chris K, Cheltenham, UK
Brown is clearly a suitable case for treatment.
Tony Gee, London,
You are spot on Matthew as usual. He believes that he was elected, he believes that he has presided over a low interest rate economy (highest in the developed world), he believes that borrowing to finance tax cuts while inflation rises is smart. He is actually insane. Call for the men in white coats
john pieront, London,
J B, York, You have an arguable point that going to war in Iraq and going into the ERM were probably bad moves, but are you seriously suggesting that going to the Falklands to free British citizens from invasion by a foreign military dictatorship was also a bad move?
Alan Gooch, Honiton, UK
i went to manchester with the wife and my 3 kids and i am from glasgow can you let me know the answers to the following,
1) the police told my wife after she went to the toilet that she could not reenter piccadilly despite her attempts to say she had kids inside.
no characters left lots more to sa
DAVID MC CHESNEY, GLASGOW, scotland
Brown has never been competent. The huge monumental edifice built around him has always been a sham. Behind it lies the tiniest of constructs. Maybe the best way to describe him is a kind of reverse TARDIS, smaller on the inside than on the outside.
TrevorH, OXON,
Brown is deluded but this virus appears to be spreading to the wider cabinet. The Government has lost its way the day we were denied our right to select a leader for this country. I note there is a court battle for a referendum on the EU treaty perhaps we need one to save the UK- Parris is correct.
Narinder, southampton, England
The few comments which support this corrupt and incompetent government which has destroyed every aspect of our country over a period of 11 years must be insane, highly ignorant, public sector workers or benefits scroungers. I can't see any other possibility.
Richard, Alicante, Spain
The fag end of this dreary socialist pantomime. Aladdin has fled, leaving the widow twanky on stage to wail and moan.
victor, london, uk
Brown, Blair, Blears, Harperson, the list goes on and on all suffer from the same illness of thinking that they are right and that nobody else is capable of thinking for themselves. Hence 11 years years of not listening, 11 years of pitiful policies, 11 years of destroying a Country. Election please
Roger, Surrey,
A Thomas in Lanchester.
You will be one of the many in the North-east that continually, irrespective of permormance and results, votes Labour. "My dad did, so I will". If Labour put a monkey up as councillor, it would get in. That's why McBroon is where he is, he is a habit, not a prime minister.
John , Durham, UK
When was the last time that a politician in government admitted to making a mistake? Blair (e.g Iraq)? Major (e.g. ERM)? Thatcher (e.g. Falklands). I think I must have missed something.
J B, York,
take a look at the swiss system and society. its the closest to democracy ive ever encountered.. works too.. odd that eh? but then the Swis have been extremely carefull when it comes to giving their countzry away. eg. immigration is strictly controlled unlike certain Island nations to the north...
zugerman, zurich, Switzerland
Agree with you Mathew, Gordon mind lives in a different Britain than we live in. When he writes his memoirs it will be fascinating to see how much can be reconciled with what actually happened. The chap lives in la la land.
Paul, Chichester,
Those whom the gods wish to destroy, they first make mad.
Lance Grundy, Liverpool, Great Britain
Gordon is omnipotent - or believes he is. His statements are guided by his dogma of Gordal Infallibilty, and derives from his religious background. All his decisions are to be regarded as ex cathedra and cannot be questioned. He alone defines truth and morality, which must be accepted by all.
Alan Gooch, Honiton, UK
Without doubt the man is deluded and honestly believes what he says is true.
I see documentaries in generations to come "the madness of Gordon Brown"
My favourite has to be the sale of our gold at $250 an ounce and then blaming the previous Government from 11 years (yes 11!)
years ago .RIP UKPLC
Paul Anthony, reading, uk
To Chris in Coventry; Bye Bye. If you don't like this country then please leave. If all the whingers and whiners were to leave, the country would be a better place. Who would you and Parish prefer? Margaret Thatcher or Dave C. No thanks as I don't want to see 4 million on the dole or 15% base rates.
A Thomas, Lanchester,
This administration headed by Gordon Brown is unimpressive and inept - time for a change! We are fed up with hearing "We are listening" and "getting on with the job" etc,etc
You have had your chance, now move on!
P Cohen, Wokingham, Berks
To P Campbell, I think you are a bit behind the curve, the majority of posts on the website are from ex-pats. I am definitely considering moving abroad to escape the high taxes and increasingly draconian government.
Where will that leave you when the wealthy leave and stop paying tax?
Chris, Coventry,
Poor old Gordon - new Labour's reputation for economic competence left in tatters (if ever you believed the lies)... all that's left is a lot of hard labour for him and hard labour for us, to pay for his mistakes of the past decade.
David, London,
To: P. campbell, Southampton, England
"take a hike"
Campbell, I think you are suffering from Brown syndrome: self-delusion. For your information the number of economic migrants from the UK is increasing rapidly. And it is not those on benefits who are going.
Steve, Cambridge,
And the Lisbon Treaty! The other EU leaders openly say its the same as the Constitution just presented in a different format. Brown says that it has some minor changes and is not called a Consitution so is entirely different and the Manifesto commitment on a referendum can therefore be broken.
Donna Walker, Effingham, England
The "dictator gene" yields inversely proportional delusions the further the individual retreats from reality; Franco, Hilter, Mussolini, Stalin, Mugabe... 'tis just but Gordon's turn. Our saving grace is our democracy, as may be furthered by the good folk of Crewe and Nantwich next week!
Mike L, Chippenham, Wilts
It's not the length of memory that matters Bernard, it's the accuracy. Like interest rates at 15%, and an economy so comprehensively destroyed by Tory corruption and incompetence that we were deemed unfit to operate on equal terms with any other country in Europe and tossed out of the EMU.
eric campbell, harrogate, uk
John of Brisbane, perhaps you could explain how the Australian system is better.
Australia is a long way from the UK, why Australians take such a deep and negative interest in our island's affairs is beyond me.
Ian, London,
For PCampbell - most countries in Europe now have a better and cleaner health service. State education here is becoming a bad joke. The Army is suffering through lack of support and appalling conditions. Etc etc. Can you cite any specific examples to commend New Labour's 11 year performance here?
Nick, London, UK
I feel sorry for Brown. The media are gleefully boot raking his vitals in a fashion they never dared do with Blair. if Brown had the cheeky boy guile of Blair and the bully Campbell fronting for him, no hack would dare confront Brown. He'd get away with it just as Blair did.
john Walter, Bonn, Germany
The whole essence of this "Hans Christian Anderson" type article is purely an exercise in vindictive destortive drivel...................The reality is,we have a highly capable good PM
Eric, Southwick , England
I suppose Matthew's point is illustrated by Brown's response in the commons when, after the collapse of many funds, FoI finally revealed that he had been advised of the consequences of changing the tax rules for pension funds. He said that he would do the same again.
Arrogant , mad or what?
Richard Crompton, Baden, Switzerland
I agree with Jim Wills .
P.M.s have far too much individual power and our so called democracy is an elective tyranny. No P.M. should have the right to choose the election date to suit their convenience. Government Ministers should be appointed by the House of Commons. Abolish Party Whips .
Stephen Green, Correns, France
This, surely, is the mindset of the career criminal: 'I'm not a thief, just sharing the profits of hard work', or 'I had to lock her in the basement, officer, otherwise she might have hurt herself'.
It's scary when you hear such words from the dock but from the PM it is much, much worse.
Adrian Gilbert, Tonbridge,
Britain's schoolkids must be rejoicing in the examples set by this PM. No homework: "I think the real question is..." Late for school: "I need more engagement." Caught skiving: "It was the right thing to do." Caught smoking: "I'm making tough decisions".
David Masu, Zürich,
very perceptive..... brown is capable of distorting external reality and so is socialism and its extremists. Tax business till it struggles, ( business only passes tax onto consumers ) put it into public ownership ( soviet factories only made left boots) take away all competition and have serfs.
fiona , plymouth ,
Its a blatant fact that since Blair got Labour into power, they have been saying black is white or yes means no and Brown is no different. But I agree with Matthew Parris, it is scary to think that Brown really does believe what he says and its not lies that he tells but true beliefs..
Mike, Alicante, Spain
He knows he was wrong, he knows he has made mistakes. He is just incapable of admitting it. The difference is that, whereas before he could do his Macavity act and avoid the awkward questions, now he is PM he can't. Thus this petulant and rather immature man is shown for what he is. Sad really.
Paul Owen, Birmingham, UK
Another example. At the P.M.'s news conference on 15/5, a lady journalist was brave enough to ask about his decision between 1999 /2001 when C of E to sell 60% of the nation's gold .
Brown " It was the right thing to do"
Wrong he sold 400 tonnes@ $275 an oz now its $890 . £5bn our cash lost.
howard fargher, ballindalloch, scotland
P. campbell
Those of with longer memories who remember that Labour have never, ever, left the economy better than they inherited. Labour believes that 1997 was year zero, anything they did before then does not exist.
The economy was growing nicely for five years before Prudence even took office.
Bernard, Edinburgh, Scotland
To all those who think they are hard done by under browns stewardship.I would respectfully suggest they take a hike to any other country where they think they will be better off ....if they can find one .What a bunch of whingers ...with very short memories!
P. campbell, Southampton, England
Sarah, what do you mean "Broadcast journalists are the worst offenders"? It is the politicians desire to pervert or conceal the truth that forces the repeated questions. It is anything but "childish" to face down a bully and a liar in order to get him (or her) to unwillingly blurt out the truth.
Tim Bartlett, Upwell, UK
Broadcast journalists are by far the worst offenders with this sort of thing. I'm so tired of hearing "Do you condemn the actions of X : Yes or no?" childishly repeated ad nauseam. Nothing in life is that simple, and common decency requires that we allow people to choose their own words.
Sarah , Dartmouth, Canada
"You couldn't accuse him of lying...seeing as he had taken such pains to delude himself first."
I think this would sum this article up. Actually Blair's fantasy land is even more distant from reality than Brown's. Brown wasn't a good chancellor, and Blair wasn't a good prime minister.
Dr Peter Davies, Halifax, West Yorkshire
He's mad but not as mad as a the last fella who started a war in response to weapons that did not exist.
kevin, Lincoln, UK
It must be the system of government that needs changing if leaders such as Prime Minister Brown exist. The contempt shown to the British leader may force change of the leader but not the system that allow such people to rule. Prime Minister Brown is probably not the problem however the process is.
Jim Wills, Brisbane , Australia
So, errh, he's mad.
michael read, London, UK