The hotel: the problem is to stop myself gushing. What I’d like to say
is that this is the finest, friendliest small hotel in France and I want to
go back there right now. But much more in that vein would persuade you that
the place was blackmailing me. So, I shall be measured and hardheaded and
say straightaway that, for a bolt hole, this is quite a bolt.
It involves flying to Carcassonne or Montpellier, hiring a car and driving (90
minutes and 75 minutes, respectively) to that point where Languedoc stops
making wine and starts rising, ruffled, rugged and wild. Le Couvent is
slotted into a titchy street opposite the church in the small town of
Hérépian, behind exterior walls evidently built for the reinforcement of
vows.
“ Couvent”, as you know, means “convent”. Nuns were here from the
17th century, and instilled an austere, stone-built serenity. That remains,
but (I’m risking a gush) is now suffused with contemporary warmth and the
sort of welcome you’d expect from distant, cultured cousins: informal but
not matey.
You wander the downstairs warren – lounge with fireplace and books, little
vaulted bar, winter terrace – as a house guest rather than a trespasser. The
manager, Antoine Lopez, or one of his two staff will ambush you in the
dining-kitchen, the heart of the establishment, for drink, any-time tapas
and a chat. There’s a small garden – and a dinky spa pool, which your
cousins probably don’t have. Civilised behaviour is assumed. Next time
someone exhorts, “Get thee to a nunnery”, don’t hesitate. You might hide
here until the rest of the world catches up.
The rooms: not rooms but suites, 13 of them on three floors off a grand
staircase worn irregular by generations of nuns scurrying up after 5am mass.
The sisters would be a bit surprised by what has happened to their
accommodation. It’s still sober: burgundy stone floors and colour washes in
the beiges and browns that nuns would doubtless favour if they ran Wallpaper
magazine.
But this is sobriety for sybarites whose devotions demand space, ace drapes,
modern chic that’s also good for sprawling on, and really plumptious
bedrooms. I’ve rarely been happier in a hotel than lolling en
famille in our suite’s lounge, drinking Scotch and listening to Blondie
on the provided iPod.
Given the acreage available, we could have been joined by 15 for a cocktail
party, with a further dozen – smokers, perhaps – out on the terrace. Thank
heavens we weren’t.
The food: simple, table d’hôte dishes taken all together round the
kitchen table – or separately in the lounge, in your suite or wherever you
choose. And £6.50 for guinea fowl in red wine or duck magret leaves a bob or
two for a crack at the better regional wines. If you want something slightly
more formal, L’Ocre Rouge restaurant, round the corner, offers a bright
twist to regional fare, menus from £19.50. Ask for something – anything –
with local black turnips. This will radically alter your attitude to this
vegetable.
The surroundings: Hérépian itself is a pretty standard-issue southern French
settlement but, immediately to the north and west, the Haut Languedoc nature
park will chuck you up mountains, along rivers and gorges, and into hamlets
so remote that they get yesterday’s sunshine. The elements are grandiose,
too, at the Cirque de Mourèze, a chaos of weird rock formations.
Lamalou-les-Bains has thermal baths, a casino and golf, Pézenas has memories
of Molière, and Béziers the Canal du Midi. “But why move from here?” said my
wife, as she settled back in an armchair, the sun setting on the hills a
little way beyond our terrace. I thought and I sipped and I said nothing.
The price: basic double suites start at £80 per night, but go for the
deluxe, with salon, from £106. The Suite Prestige has two double bedrooms
and a salon, from £154. For special two, three- and sevennight deals – until
April 30 – call 00 33 4 67 11 87 15 or visit www.couventherepian.com.
Breakfast costs £7pp.
Getting there: Ryanair (0871 246 0000, www.ryanair.com)
flies to Carcassonne from East Midlands, Stansted, Liverpool, Dublin and
Shannon, and to Montpellier from Stansted.
