I saw a great sign on the way to Nakuru from Nairboi in Kenya. It simply read "Vibrator for hire"

Do advertisig hoarding slogans count? In the same town you were advised to buy "Human Food for a Healthy Nation"

Adrienne, Macclesfield,

I went to Nijo-jo castle in Kyoto. Part of the building were building was roped off and a sign hung saying
''Today is not ready. Please come back later'
Obviously Buddha hadn't put the finishing touches to the next 24 hours so visitors would just have to hang around in the present until he's good and ready.

Stuart P, Bristol,

On a backcountry road in Kodiak Island, Alaska is a sign meant to forbid the use of snow chains on vehicles during summer months. It says "No Chains." Someone has gotten hold of the exact official lettering stencils and added "Or Whips."

Annabel Lund, Monterey, California, USA

I saw a sign in a bus station in Thailand which read "TOILET IS BACK" - round the back, it meant, but it sounded like a scatalogical version of an Arnold Schwarzenegger film...

s francis, Kent, UK

The 'Big Dick's Halfway Inn' sign has been around for a long time - I was emailed that amongst other similar gems over 5 years ago - the one shown here is exactly the same photo as the one I was sent back then - looks like someone is taking credit where credit is not due!

MW, Cape Town,

If you ever take the Trans Canada Highway across the Island portion of the Province of Newfoundland and Labrador keep an eye out for community signs such as Come By Chance, Blow Me Down, Hibbs Hole, Heart's Delight, Heart's Content, and Dildo, just to name a few of our more colourful places!

KL Power, Mount Pearl, Canada

When Ed Koch was our mayor with a sense of humor he had signs put up in very busy areas where parking restrictions were usually placed - "Don't Even Think About It !" Do not know if they are still up.

Bob Hall, New York, United States

What is the problem with the humourless whingers moaning about the humourous translations as if it's some kind of racial slur? Most of those same people then say how wrong and funny our translations are. THAT'S THE POINT YOU IDIOTS! Ours are funny, yours are funny! On a British site with mostly, but not totally, British visitors, this kind of thing is funniest to the most people when it's this way round. Get over it.

chris, worthing, england

I dont have a picture, but on a resturant front door in Doha, Qatar....
"If parking full we are pleased to offer our backside for your convenience"!!!!!
Now that would have made a good picture!!!!

seth taylor, cambs, uk

Welsh speakers have great fun reading badly-translated signs which don't quite say what the translators intended them to say, probably because an illiterate (or at least monoglot) sign-writer intervened. My favourites are both in Cardiff:

- a 'bus lane without shape or form' somewhere in the vicinity of where, according to the English sign, the bus lane ends.

- a long and wordy legal notice outside a supermarket which makes perfect sense, except that the word 'ci' ('dog') has been gratuitously inserted right in the middle of it.

Stephen Morris, Shrewsbury, UK

Actually putting the "no durians" sign on these pages as an example for a "silly sign" says quite a bit about the ignorance of some of the entrants (and possibly the judges?) to this competition... On a related note: What about a competion of silly signs in THIS country in other languages than English (some of them resulting from the fact that makers of signs seemignly can't be bothered to use foreign "special characters")....?

Foreigner, London, UK

"No Durians" is not a bizarre sign if you've ever been within 50 meters of a Durian fruit.

Words cannot describe how foul it smells. Seriously. It's not taken lightly

John Louis Swaine, St Julians, Malta

For legal reasons = We only have one lawyer and he's busy

Insightful, Lyon, France

I appreciated the assurance on the label on some Japanese chopsticks I bought that stated "fearlessness in boiling water:

Jane, Sydney , Australia

"For legal reasons." What a pathetic reply.

The actual reasons are not stated, and in this day and age, it does not make sense. Sounds like someone is applying the standard reply, with no thought given to the underlying cause (if there is one).

Esteban, Lausanne, Switzerland

what a pity you have chosen to exclude us who live overseas. Cant you afford the postage or something?
Anyway I saw a plaque in my local town for 'Simply English'. An English learning institute. However the email address was simplyenlish@hotmail.com. Yes the 'G' was missing from the e-mail address. Whether it was a mistake on the plaque or the actual email address was registered with hotmail with the error I have not established.

Ian, Monforte - Galicia, Spain

Andrew has a very point.

I just wonder what these legal reasons could be.

Paul, Antalya, Turkey

Seen a few years ago at the entrance to a motorway in southern Italy:
NO CARAVANS WITH BLINKING PLANTS
What was meant:
No entry for caravans when traffic light is flashing
(the flashing light warns of dangerously high winds blowing across certain points of motorway).

Elizabeth Harrowell, Rome, Italy

Aah! English! 1 billion speak it. 1.5 billion are learning it. Another 3.5 billion to go. Aah! English - the language of Lonely Planet Earth.

Toby, Calcutta, India

Why should us risk-taking Brits residing independently overseas send in our photos of amusing signs when we are excluded from the competition? Face it; we have far greater potential to find amusing English than Brit residents (aka risk-averse losers), who only have their holiday snaps. Besides, this is a type of ritual humiliation of those struggling with English as a second language. Namely, cultural imperialism.
Turn it around: In that huge Bristol shopping mall, a carpet retail outlet was displaying "China" (in Chinese), doubtless for effect rather than communication. Problem was, one of the signs was upside down, while the other the right way up. Not the easiest compound kanji to work with admittedly, but come on. There’s great potential for other languages sign jokes in UK. Start with the London Underground if you want a real laugh, but be sure to take a native Japanese or Chinese speaker with you.

Andrew Milner, Karuizawa, Nagano

Sorry I don't have the pictures but here are some of my personal favourites from my time as an Erasmus student in Malaga about 10 years ago : Bonka Coffee, Flakey Aroma fabric conditioner, Floater washing powder, and my personal favourite on an English translation of a menu, Chicken Tits and Chips. One can only imagine how they got that answer. Needless to say this was at a bar!!!!

Stiina, Uk,

In the water just off the shore of one of the small islands in Sydney Harbour, there used to a large sign mounted on concrete piers. The notice said:

"Do not tie up to this notice."

Mick, San Jose, CA, USA

Hello, just to clarify - we specify 'open to UK and Ireland residents' as standard Terms and Conditions on Times Online competitions for legal reasons.

We would welcome entries from around the world for publication on the website, though anyone from outside the UK and Ireland would not be eligible for the prize.

Best wishes

Times Online

Gareth Scurlock, Times Online,

I've no pictures of signs to offer for your viewing pleasure, but II once had a jar of Chinese, spicy vegetables where the English next to the Chinese characters read "Har Har's Hot Tickled Vegetables."

Karl K., Sarasota, FL, U.S.

Sorry, redandover60, it isn't "don't stand on the toilet sign"., but "don't squat on the 'sitting-style' toilet". There used to be quite a few such signs around in Japan. But now, as 'European-style' toilets increase, there are fewer. Actually there used to be a problem in SOAS, my alma mater, where such squatting would tend to leave a mess.

BTW, I agree with Paul, This ruling for UK residents only is very strange.

There are UK people living abroad, you know.

jptyke, Tokyo, Japan

Exactly what I wanted, the "don't stand on the toilet sign". Have lifted it off to put in the toilets, I work at a University but have come across this problem before.

redandover60, Hayes, Middlesex, England

There's a 99.9% chance that restricting the competition to British residents only is for legal reasons.

Claire, London,

Picture 1 is correct. It is frog porridge. Normally frog legs cooked in a broth.

Sie Wei, Singapore,

There is this sign on a dog-trimming saloon in Saku, Nagano, Japan (for those lacking a World Atlas):
"Doggy Style"
But after "Hard Off" (recycle hardware chain) this hardly raises an eyebrow.
When I was checking out purchase of a "posh" apartment in Kanazawa Bunko (some 12 klicks south of Yokohama), a web search revealed that "Kanazawa Bunko" was the name Japan's hottest porno queen. Specialised in the schoolgirl uniform routine, or so I'm reliably informed. So when on the mobile, "I'm in Kanazawa Bunko..."
Still at least it put me off calling any future language school, “Kanazawa Bunko English”.

Andrew Milner, Yokohama, Japan

The "Welcome to Scotland" one looks as if it's been photoshopped.

Ollie, London,

i think 16 is a fake,

peter, london,

That "Welcome To Scotland" one is blatantly faked, apart from the word Scotland (the only word which isn't perfectly horizontal and exactly 18 pixels high).

_Felix, Nottingham,

It makes perfect sense to limit this to UK residents.

The main reason that people in other parts of the world visit this web site is that it provides one British view of the world, not an American or Turkish or whatever view of the world.

Keeping it a British web site with mainly British contributors is good. When I visit Indian news sites, I'm glad they are Indian, when I visit Venezuelan news sites I'm glad they're Venezuelan - if everyone adopts a "global" perspective, whatever that might be, we'll be poorer for it.

E. Carpenter, New York, USA

do you think that only british do they have a GSOH?

luciana, rome, IT

Lonely Planet ? don't you mean Lonely British.
Sorry wont be sending my pixs from Africa

Anna, Johannesburg, South Africa

I agree with Kaelinda.

This ruling for UK residents only is very strange.

Paul, Antalya, Turkey

Since this is happening over the internet, why are people from other countries not included?

Kaelinda, Romney, WV, USA